i still hadn't told this guy i went out with the other night that i didn't want to see him again. i knew it was coming sometime this week. i've just been waiting and have been anxious waiting for his text message. It finally came today.
Here's what happened. He text me saying he was disappointed that i "flaked" on him and i immediately (without confronting Master) replied to him that i was not interested in him and wished him well.
SHOCK. HOLY CRAP DID i JUST DO THAT?
i simply do not understand where this random act of courage came from. Amazing. i never do anything like this. i just ignore any issue because i don't like the confrontation or disappointment in others. Then i wait until Master forces me to do something or He has to get involved. But the very second i sent the message i felt completely free and relieved. i told Master what i did and He told me He was very proud of me. He said i deserved a reward! Can you imagine????? That's only happened one other time. i'm very happy today!
Master told me that He wants me to be more like this, what i did today. Perhaps its because He cannot be around me all of the time and needs to be sure i can handle things on my own when He isn't? i have to be honest, i like His protection best. Not mine. But i will see what i can do in the future knowing and remembering what i did today.
On top of that Master also told me that He was proud of me earlier this morning because He gave me an order and i performed it immediately. It was a very difficult order because it had to do with my ex. He knows how hard His order was for me and i did it without word or complaint.
Today, for sure, has been a good day.
i just want to end with, i think (as of this very moment) that whatever crosses my way i will have the strength to tell anyone (even another Dom) that i am owned, and nothing, not even them, can take me away from Him. i'm feeling very proud of my courage today.
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